The Scariest Patterns You've Ever Seen!

As stated in my first Pattern Patter interview, Since I have joined Etsy I have found a wonderful community willing to share knowledge and the vintage pattern love. This month I'm telling the story behind several of their shops as a way to say thank you! If you are looking for sewing inspiration perhaps you will find it in the world of vintage patterns!"

BEWARE!! BEWARE!! Sensitive sewers may want to skip this post!! The horrors of the sewing world are now on display!!

Starting this week off I want to introduce you to Sue, of QuiltCitySue on Etsy and on eCrater. I'll let her share her story of terror in her owns words. 

"I used to make my own clothes when I was young; then when clothes became so cheap to buy, I made mostly curtains and drapes. Six years ago I started quilting. I opened my Etsy shop last year and put 4 quilts in it but no one looked at them since there were 27,000 other quilts on Etsy. Then I found a box of doll patterns at an estate sale and listed them and it grew from there. Now I mostly have clothing patterns but I like to have a lot of different kinds; quilting, needlework, sewing, woodworking.

I always get a kick out of patterns that make me laugh or cringe. When I buy patterns in lots, I will sometimes get a weird pattern that I list, just so I can say something about it that I hope will make people laugh. Many times they actually sell, which always surprises me. 

In the Pattern Pattern team last summer someone mentioned an ugly dress pattern and so I started a thread called Ugly Dresses and Scary Dolls and listed some of mine in the thread along with some pointed comments. Other people did the same and it was hilarious. So I took a lot of those patterns and made a team treasury which I called Pattern Hall of Shame. Recently Etsy changed some rules about treasuries which led to my redoing it. I made two treasuries, one is  Pattern Hall of Shame 60's 70's

and the other is Pattern Hall of Shame 80's 90's

Periodically sellers whose patterns are in the treasury get tired of relisting them and I lose them. So I have put in several of mine just to keep it going. I don't want to insult anyone by putting a pattern in there if the seller might not appreciate it. Sometimes I'll see one that's perfect and ask permission to include it. But what I look for are dolls that look like they belong in a horror film and dress patterns that are offbeat in some way. 

Sometimes the pattern design is terrible, other times the dress might look good on some people but the model has entirely the wrong figure for it. Sometimes you get lucky and both occur in the same pattern. A lot of patterns aren't suitable for a treasury because the seller scans them and only the middle part shows, the head is cut off and so are the feet. Or it's blurry or you can't see whatever detail that makes it funny. Sometimes the pattern is so weird that I do put one like that in the treasury but it is so much funnier when the whole pattern is seen. That's why I encourage people to click on the photos and see the whole thing.

It's hard to pick one pattern that is the worst. The menswear patterns of the 70's are so outrageous. I admire the men in Aunt Lydia's Rug Yarn knitting pattern for keeping a straight macho face while in that ridiculous attire.

 Also the two men in the vest patterns are priceless. 

Of the women's patterns my favorite is the blue number. The outfit, the pearls, the corsage and the hair!! How could it get any better? 

I like the cranky women in the bottom row too.

There are no mens' patterns in the 80's treasury because men looked pretty snazzy then, unlike the poor women who were overwhelmed with design totally unsuited to the female body. The drive for power gone wild. Even the famous designers were swept away in the madness. There are two Nicole Miller patterns, a Christian Dior and an Evan Piccone in the 80's treasury. 

I think among the pattern sellers in the treasury the two Burdas are getting the most votes for the worst pattern. 

But I think it's a tie between the People Packages pattern Butterick 6964 

 and the Nicole Miller white number.

 I also appreciate the vest knitting pattern. It just looks boring until you click on it and then you see how bad a vest can get. That's how they always looked on me! 

Here is my favorite womens' pattern that was in the original treasury: 

It's called Outfit for Days When You Are Depressed. Someone actually bought it. It just shows there's a pattern for everyone.
Here's my favorite scary doll pattern which also sold:

They all have a special place in my funnybone. Except the doll patterns and they are frightening. Perfect for Halloween. 

If you run across any patterns where the model looks like she hates being in the dress or the illustrations looks like something odd is going on or the dress is ridiculous and you wonder how it ever got made into a pattern, or the doll looks like it's on a bad acid trip, send me a convo because I might like to buy it. If you have a shop and list it for sale, send me the link and when I have an opening I can put it in. If you make the pattern send a photo of the pattern and the result so Emily can show it in her blog. We'd all like to see it!"

Happy Halloween Sewing,

Sue

Thanks Sue, for giving us a good scare! Be sure to check out the treasuries to see all the sewing pattern horribleness. And don't forget to check out Sue's shop, QuiltCitySue to see all her scary offerings!

For those of you who fell in love with these patterns and feel the need to recreate them please send pictures to emsewcrazy (at) yahoo.com to be featured sometime.

Which is your favorite terror? Confess! Have you worn any of these styles your self?